The Indisputable Ranking of the Hottest Kennedys

We did it folks. Between me and Molly Donahue, we empirically proved the relative hotness of each and every Kennedy relative that we happened to include in the top 64 of Kennedys. It was a long road. There were shocking upsets. There were calls of a rigged election. There was a shocking amount of debate about how hot JFK Jr. was.

Any other person would send a link to the bracket and leave it at that. But I'm not any other person. Now that I have a list of exactly how many votes each Kennedy received, I feel it is my duty to bring you all a list of Hot Kennedys, ranked in order of hotness.

I won't accept any criticism. This is because of your votes. If I had my way, Kathleen Agnes Kennedy would be the winner. So without further ado, starting from the least hot:

64. Stephen Edward Smith Jr. with 0 votes

63. Matthew Maxwell Taylor "Max" Kennedy with 1 vote

62. William Kennedy Smith with 2 votes

61. Patrick Joseph Kennedy II with 2 votes

Patrick Joseph is higher than William Kennedy even though they have the same amount of votes because Patrick Joseph was a 35 seed and William was a 23 seed, so Patrick gets a bump for over-performing and William gets a loss for being underwhelming.

60. Robin Elizabeth Lawford with 3 votes

59. Christopher Kennedy McKelvy with 6 votes

58. Mary Kerry "Kerry" Kennedy with 7 votes

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57. Christopher George Kennedy with 9 votes

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56. Michael LeMoyne Kennedy with 10 votes

55. Kym Maria Smith with 11 votes

54. Sydney Maleia Kennedy Lawford with 12 votes

53. Francesca Maria Shriver with 12 votes

52. Edward Moore Kennedy III with 12 votes

Again, all about the seeds here. Sydney was a 22 seed, Francesca was a 59 and Edward was a 61. Performing above what was expected makes you slightly hotter in my book.

51. Edward Moore Kennedy Jr. with 13 votes

50. Riley Elizabeth Kennedy with 13 votes

I don't need to tell you people that a 56 seed did better than a 34 seed. This may be the most I've ever written "seed" in a blog post.

49. Timothy Perry Shriver with 14 votes

48. Robert Francis Kennedy Jr. with 15 votes

47. Robert Francis Kennedy III with 16 votes

46. Mark Kennedy Shriver with 17 votes

45. Douglas Harriman Kennedy with 21 votes

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44. Alexandra Lawford Pender with 22 votes

43. David Anthony Kennedy with 23 votes

42. Victoria Francis Lawford with 23 votes

41. Matthew Maxwell Taylor "Max" Kennedy Jr. with 23 votes

Because I feel the need to explain myself to you people, David was an 11 seed, Victoria 20 and Max Kennedy Jr. an impressive 55.

40. Jean Ann Kennedy with 27 votes

39. Matthew Rauch Kennedy with 27

Again, a 15 seed up against a 49 seed, but honestly, you were all too hard on both Jean Ann AND Matthew Rauch. They were both hotter than you gave them credit for.

38. Kara Anne Kennedy with 28 votes

37. Anthony Paul Kennedy Shriver with 34 votes

36. Clare Rose Kennedy with 35 votes

35. Kathleen Kennedy Townshend with 37 votes

34. Amanda Mary Smith with 40 votes

33. Caroline Bouvier Kennedy with 40 votes

I seeded Amanda way higher because I thought she was super hot, but apparently no one agreed with me.

32. Christina Maria Aurelia Schwarzenegger with 50 votes

31. Eunice Julia Shriver with 51 votes

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30. Joseph Patrick Kennedy Sr. with 66 votes

29. Mary Courtney Kennedy with 67 votes

28. Tatiana Celia Kennedy Schlossberg with 68 votes

27. Rory Elizabeth Katherine Kennedy with 69 votes

26. Joseph Patrick Kennedy Jr. with 76 votes

25. Saoirse Roisin Hill with 78 votes

24. Eunice Mary Kennedy with 84 votes

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23. Kyra LeMoyne Kennedy with 91 votes

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22. Katherine Eunice Schwarzenegger with 92 votes

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21. Patricia Helen Kennedy with 93 votes

20. James Peter McKelvy Jr. with 99 votes

19. Michaela Cuomo with 102 votes

18. Christopher Kennedy Lawford with 102 votes

17. Rose Elizabeth Fitzgerald with 110 votes

16. Joseph Patrick Kennedy II with 125 votes

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15. Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy with 127 votes

14. Patrick Arnold Shriver Schwarzenegger with 145 votes

13. John Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr. with 147 votes

12. Joseph Patrick Kennedy III with 155 votes

11. Noah Isabella Rose Kennedy with 157

10. Robert Sargent Shriver III with 162 votes

9. Caroline Summer Rose Kennedy with 162 votes

Caroline was a 48 seed, and dear Robert Shriver III was seeded at 8. We thought you would like him more.

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8. Kathleen Agnes Kennedy with 173

7. Rose Marie "Rosemary" Kennedy with 189

6. John Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg with 191

5. Maria Owings Shriver with 206

4. John Fitzgerald Kennedy with 256

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Now after this, we have a very interesting situation. Kathleen Alexandra Kennedy did make it to the final two, yes. But overall, she had fewer votes than Bobby. Because this list is primarily about vote totals, I've decided to rank Kathleen 3rd, because even with the bump of the final two, she couldn't beat Bobby's overall vote total.

3. Kathleen Alexandra Kennedy with 285 votes

2. Robert Francis "Bobby" Kennedy with 297 votes

1. Rose Kennedy Schlossberg with 361 votes.