Or: Answering Your Zika Questions in Five Parts, with help from my Good Buddies at the CDC

1. "I think I got the Zika virus!"

You probably don't have Zika. Even if you get 150 mosquito bites a week, you probably don't have Zika. Even if you've seen Zika on the news a lot lately. Even if all your friends are tell you that you have Zika. Even if you read the tea leaves and they spelled out Z I K A.